ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize