I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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