Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
