lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
