Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
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