do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
