friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
