He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
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I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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