Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Randomize
