Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
