i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
