He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
