Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Randomize
