so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
