found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
