your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
