Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
