I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
dude. I can hear the air.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
