I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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