wat bout pragnant strippers??
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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