Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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