Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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