Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
