So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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