a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
