I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
