thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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