If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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