I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
