A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
