I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
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