No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
