My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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