For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize