Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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