from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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