You can't special order awesome
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
