Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
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