I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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