French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
