WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm way too hungover for life right now
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
