these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Just puked most of my soul out..
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
