Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
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I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
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So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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