I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
