so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize
