College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
