I just saw a hot homeless man
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
