I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.