If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
