I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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