Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
