Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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