After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
