The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
