I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize