here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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