But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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