So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Sext me about skeletons
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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