People in love make me want to vomit
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
