Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
