Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
