i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
