I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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