not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we still banned from the library?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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