I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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