He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
