then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
