I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize