It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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