We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize