He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
