Your tits are I can't wait for
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
