I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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