I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
