Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
